Chronicles of an Old Loose Ashtangi

Almost every day, at least when I feel that my body is not a concrete block, and at times precisely when I really am that stiff, I try to negotiate my limits. I am kind of unsure whether this one can still be called Mari D. But for me, being able to sit in that posture in half lotus keeping my spine erect and not needing to be supported by the rearward arm anchored to the floor... well, that is a big success. And I know that one day, if there are no anatomical impediments or injuries, I will complete the twist and clasp my hands behind the back. It's only a matter of time, practice and intent - and of being clear that nothing changes in your life when you achieve a new posture. On to the next one, and the story begins all over again.

Parivrtta Trikonasana I am not actually convinced that I somehow became a better person, a better version of myself, since I started practicing. I can only say that now I find myself calmer than usual, and more focused, yeilding and aware of my limits. More aware but more irresponsible as well. I still have to find how to fix that irresponsibility and to understand if it came along as a drawback of a sort of surrendering and acceptance I seem to have developed. I also need to confirm that that surrendering and acceptance is not in fact fatalism. Whatever, I definitely do not regret me embarking on this journey.

 Chi pratica ogni giorno accanto a me? Quando correvo uno dei miei immaginari compagni di falcata non poteva che essere Murakami, bislacco maratoneta dell'animo. Ora invece, non ho ben chiaro un referente letterario che possa accompagnarmi nella pratica occupando il tappetino accanto al mio. Magari un personaggio di Italo Calvino (perbacco: Agilulfo, il cavaliere inesistente dalla splendida armatura), oppure di Boccaccio (chessò, Calandrino che cerca la pietra dell'invisibilità?), ma francamente non so se loro sarebbero contenti di stare lì con me. Tutto ciò che so è che spesso mi si piazza nella mente, come un chiodo fisso, la poesia più conosciuta e abusata di Dylan Thomas: Do not go gentle into that good night . Un motivo ci sarà pure, ma preferisco non indagare... (Ah... e ovviamente se stessi parlando di cinema il mio referente altri non potrebbe essere che Aquilante mala bestia che conosce tutte le vie della fuga!)

Parlando per estremi, credo che preferirei praticare al buio piuttosto che in piena luce. Posso capire che agli altri piaccia fare yoga inondati dalla luce, soprattutto se naturale. Anch’io ultimamente sto praticando circondato da finestroni che vanno dal pavimento al soffitto, da pareti interamente finestrate. Però, a pensarci bene preferisco il garbo della luce crepuscolare che filtra prima dell’alba, in particolare d'inverno e in primavera, piuttosto che l’irruenza della luce estiva che, inesorabile, ti colpisce, quasi ferisce, sin dal primo mattino. Il gioco di chiaroscuri e la leggerezza con cui i primi timidi raggi sfiorano le membra in movimento, civettando, quasi danzando, sugli incavi e le convessità del corpo e sulle superfici degli oggetti vicini e lontani, mi avvince e mi aiuta a rilassarmi e a concentrarmi in ciò che mi accingo a fare. Poi inizia la pratica e, per dirla con Amleto, the rest is silence.

( dedicated to those who tend to take things too serious) 😘 And there you go, mates! Official opening of this stunning facility on a cloudy and almost rainy day: Stefano's Rooftop Summer Shala 🤗🍾🎉 As if it were Manhattan 🏙 Lovingly equipped, surrounded by greenery and cheered by birdsong, the best open-air shala in town, en mi inmodesta opinión 😎 Su dai, tiriamocela un po' che fa audience 😅 Now, turning to more serious matters, as reminded by @danieleridolfi I have just unlocked the next level. So in a couple of these pics you can see me attempting one of the most complex yoga poses - being there by not physically being there, a.k.a. spookasana 😇

Great news in terms of location! Solo faltan algunos pequeños detalles, pero probablemente ya mañana estaré de estreno 😎 Be warned - this pic is not yet the final setting... Oggi no perché devo ancora sistemare il terrazzo, ma magari già da domani ci sarâ l'inaugurazione della... 🥳open-air shala!🤙 Alle 6 del mattino ci sono 22°-23°🌡e si pratica da dio all'aperto... a patto che non tiri vento 🌬💨

"Nobody likes that shit" Ashtanga yoga isn’t a comfortable, easy-going practice. This is not like Yin or Restorative yoga, our commitment and presence must be full, particularly the mind cannot allow itself the luxury to stray from the focus. And let alone the physical exertion of a practice that is always deeply demanding. This does not mean that one cannot experience intense quiet and peace while practicing. Quite the opposite, as the flow of poses turns into a kind of moving meditation.

  Marichyasana A, B, C and D I think I might have slight unbalanced hips 😅, at least so it seems when I do marichyasanas, because one side of the pelvis won’t stay glued to the ground. Leaving aside other obvious difficulties of this set of four postures, that possible unevenness is my biggest concern...😱🙄😎

New-moon day again. It is also called dark moon because it’s when the Moon sits just between the Sun and the Earth, so it is in complete darkness and invisible to us. This should be a rest day but I cannot afford the luxury to rest because this week I won’t be able to do my Sunday morning practice. So I need to offset and make up for that day loss.

Torrents of words have been spent on Drishti, the importance to focus one’s gaze while doing asanas and transitions. During the last few days I have been trying to follow those drishti instructions all along, though I think that that could be like a sort of second step, because I don't want to overdo. I mean maybe I’d better deepen my understanding and full usage of drishti when I feel more comfortable with asanas, trying not to complicate things too much - though still looking, simplifying a lot, towards the direction of the movement... For the time being, the connection between movements and a long, full and slow breath is probably paramount.

Janu Sirsasana A The more time passes, the more I realize how difficult it is to practice without a teacher watching and correcting you. Without the guidance of a competent tutor. New defects are acquired and those you already have become chronic. You shall find motivations and fillips within yourself. There’s no dialectic - only your inner monologue.   If there is a positive aspect, it is that I am learning to accept myself. Although I am aware that I am not enough.

If I counted right the primary series has up to 56 Chaturangas, 56 Adho mukhas, 56 Urdhva mukhas. In terms of Vinyasas, we are talking about approx. 36. I am concerned about all those repetitive movements that can lead to repetitive microtraumas, those little motions done over and over that might end up wearing out joints, ligaments, etc. Particularly if they are done in “autopilot” instead of thoroughly and with full awareness. Maybe “just” keeping the synchronization between breath and movement in order to fully oxygenate tissues is enough to avoid injuries. Or maybe introducing some variations, like for example doing part of the chaturangas keeping arms a little wider, or elbows not so close to the chest, or not going too low and not letting the torso go too close to the floor. Reducing the intensity of upper back extension and of hyper-extension in the lower back in some of the Urdhva Mukhas. Easing hamstrings a bit in some Adho Mukhas. Or whatever similar modificati...

6:40AM  - Sunday morning practice. Mighty fine! Headache, heavy-legged and tired, especially the lower part of the body, from hips down. Fatigue, not pain. This muggy and sticky air is unforgiving. Alright - will try and go slowly, not forcing asanas and concentrating on movements, breath, and Drishti. A practice more focused on the mental angle – a sort of new way, at least to me, to enjoy being there. PS: 8:20AM. Headache disappeared. It's raining (don't know if men or not, but definitely Hallelujah!)

If there were a pose I dislike, that would certainly be Purvottanasana. Soles of the feet on the floor, stretch your legs and lift your butt – a sort of reverse plank. Ok, but the “lift your butt” part is still a huge problem. I can’t do it reasonably well - not a lack of strength, so mainly a brain-body connection, I guess. From November 2020 to May 2021 the change is subtle, mostly unperceivable. Disappointed.  Bloody expectations... 

I am not a big fan of these people always posting pics of amazing, perfect, wildlife, acrobatic, inspirational and whatever else yoga poses, still I don’t like the quite common habit of crucifying them either.   We may like or dislike it, we might agree or disagree with the underlying message, but – blurred by the distance and sheltered by concealment - we are too prone to judge and vent anger and frustrations.   Too much dogmatism in a world that could definitely use a bit more of social, cultural and perhaps ethical relativism.

Me in Savasana I am incapable of doing more than 3-4 minutes of Savasana, so I am forcing myself to add approx. a little minute a day for a week, to get at least to 10.   I understand its importance, the need to recover, and not abruptly interrupting or hindering the circulation of prana, etc... but I really struggle. Keeping my body stretched motionless on the floor after the practice is quite uncomfortable to me. And rather boring…   Maybe it’s a lousy stress management thing, maybe unconsciously I don't want to stop.

I am not afraid of making a fool of myself. No shame at all. If it’s true that we are a constant work in progress ever since we were born, my progress in this practice is a slow train coming... and going. But sooner or later later later I will be rewarded. 😉 Maybe today I need a hand, a support, a few words well said to push my effort up, and perhaps tomorrow I will be rewarded by being able to do a Bhujapidasana (along with its damned transition) not that awful and appalling. 🤦‍♂️🤣 And if I won't, it doesn't really matter. Does it? Next life - I'm a patient guy 🤣🤣🤣